Thursday, September 25, 2014

A dick joke, Bi-polar awareness, pre-dawn runs, Jack Reacher & The Maze Runner

Q: What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? 
A: He smashed his his nose.

Always lead with a joke. 

So bi-polar awareness. I am trying to be a little more out spoken about being bipolar. Normally I keep it to myself and just let people judge me as some weirdo...but lately I have been telling people I am bipolar. Now a lot of people say they are...but if you have never experienced a rapid cycling, then you have no idea how painful it is. Imagine being on a roller coaster with no lap bar to keep you in. You go up and down and up and down and you have zero control of it. You just try to hang on for dear life and hope that it ends soon. My episodes sometimes last for days, other times they only last minutes. It's a feeling like wanting to cry, masturbate, laugh manically at everything, and wanting to run a marathon at the same time. It sounds fun, but it is very scary. I have a long history of suicidal thoughts and part of the reason I run is because it calms me down. It is not my therapy, it is part of my medication. A small cog to the whole machine. I had a rapid cycling episode yesterday...it wasnt pretty...but then I started to play the piano and smoke a little and it all went away. Pot is wonderful. I am on actual medication also, but it doesn't always work as it needs to. Some days I am a zombie and other days I feel nothing.

Pre-dawn runs are difficutl for me. I forced myself up and onto the road this morning with Billy, but it is just so hard to go outside when it is still dark out. I hate running in my normal glasses and I cant see anything if I dont run with some kind of glasses. I need to get online and order a pair of prescription glasses that change color. Maybe I will do that today. 

I have been reading quite a bit lately. I have burned through 4 books in a little over a week. I tried to read one Jack Reacher novel, and I just couldn't do it. It was so predictable and boring. The plot line had been done a million times before. Picture this...gritty wanderer who is ex military comes into a town and his first decision is always correct and he solves a crime because he is outside the law and doesn't have to follow procedure so he can get rough with people and kill people and he gets the hot girl and they bang all the time....sound familiar? No thanks.

The gf and I went to see the Maze Runner this past weekend. It actually wasn't too bad. It looked cool. The storyline was pretty far fetched, but it was original kind of. The movie 100% ended to set up a sequel, which is fine. I will probably go see the next one also.

No comments:

Post a Comment